Emperor penguins do not have yellow orange feathers on their neck, its actually orange juice!
You see, Emperor Penguins love orange juice.In fact they’re crazy for it.The problem is that emperor penguins are very messy drinkers, I mean it can’t be easy to drink orange juice with their flippers and beaks.Their messy drinking habits cause them to spill most of it.Most of the spilled orange juice lands on the emperor penguins black coat were it disappears, but the little bit that does land on the white neck stains it turning it yellow orange.
Here we have some clear evedince of the orange juice smuggling. A photo of a peguin holding an orange.
Now you may be wondering how Emperor Penguins who live in the Antarctic get orange juice, since oranges grow in tropic places like Florida. Well, the Emperor Penguins are actually part of a smuggling group with some flamingos in Florida.You see, the Penguins send the Flamingos ice to keep them (and their drinks) cool, and the Flamingos in exchange illegally send the emperor penguins orange juice.
Now you may want to know how I know this. Well, the cameras that were meant to spy on the Chnupholuffaghans but we accidentally found this conspiracy.I would show you the video proof but its highly classified.Even if I can’t show you proof you have to believe me its very important that the Penguins stop drinking orange juice because they are depleting the worlds orange juice.To stop this call 1-800-PENGUINS-ARE-DRINKING-ALL-OUR-ORANGE-JUICE .
THE VEGETATION IS CLOSING IN! THEY HAVE TAKEN OVER THE NEW YORK CITY!
Just look at the pictures:
It started out as the trees marching in for an invasion...
...and then a tree stomped a car...
...UNTIL ALL OF NEW YORK WAS INVADED!
But why have we not heard about this on the news?
Because all of these events of invasion has been supported by the above, and guess what? THE ABOVE HAS OWNERSHIP ON ALL OF THE MAJOR NEWS STATIONS. The news stations are leading us to believe things that aren’t real, like “the presidential election.” It never really happened. It is all a cover-up so you focus on different things while they take over! That’s not very nice.
Oooh… Sounds Scary
Well, yeah it is. In fact, it’s more scary than the scariest thing in the world (The Wall, by Pink Floyd).
Let Me Explain:
You may not know this, but there are several hotlines across the country. Hundreds of people call the hotline numbers and say stuff. Well, the Above controls these hotlines. If you haven’t noticed, there’s been a pattern in my discoveries… They use over-the-phone-subliminal-messages (see More Brainwashing Methods of the Above) to brainwash the stupid people that call hotlines. Then they recruit them as soldiers. On the day that the sky falls, the soldiers will invade and take the surviving humans as slaves.
This person is about to be brainwashed!
But Wait, There’s More!
No, I’m not done my rant. Bare with me here.
WHY?
Why do they brainwash hotline callers? Acording to my research, sources say that anyone stupid enough to call hotlines will give in. Apparently, the Above promises everything in the world to move the brainwashing process along. The Above can get away with doing less work with their brain-washing if they promise everyhing to gullable people. Talk about lazy!
Good luck out there!
Waiting for the worms,
xAn
NEXT TIME FROM XAN:
The Above: WHERE DID THEY/IT COME FROM?
As you already know from the last post relating to the Tic-Tac Man, there is nothing I hate more than the song about him. Well guess what? I hate the music video more that the song. You can watch the horrible music video below (sorry about the add, just click the X).
First of all, Iron Maiden is METAL! Not rock n’ roll! Second, him flying was really fake. Third, JAMOE DOES NOT LIKE LEMONADE. TIC-TAC MAN NEVER LOST HIS LEG. MY ANGER MAKES ME WRITE INSUFFICIENT UPDATES. MEG’S FAVORITE ANIMAL IS A DUCK, NOT A COW. THAT WAS NOT EVEN A LAKE, IT WAS A BATHROOM SINK. THAT WAS NOT THE LOCHNESS MONSTER, IT WAS A LEPOARD GECKO. AND THE REAL (yeah, it is real) LOCHNESS MONSTER WOULD NEVER MISTAKE HIM FOR FOOD.
I am disgusted!
Short live the music video,
Beatledude.
PS. The only reason it says “By Beatledude before you watch the video is because I submitted it so every one can scream at its horror.
Little do we know about him, there is no proof of anything he has ever done.
Recently, there has been a new research project done by Verbal Diarrhea INC, about the matter. As it turns out, Santa Claus led a very creepy life. He started off as an innocent gift-giver for the seasonal times, as pictured below.
See the joy and happiness?
Yes, it used to be this way. But one day, he became overcrowded with the high demand of children. Whiny, greedy, and obnoxious children (AKA people like you), and went a bit coo-coo.
He went from being slightly irritated by the children...
...to being a real ultra-creep. This is why your parents tell you not to come downstairs.
Something had to be done
And not lying, and saying its done, either. This time, we had to actually do something. Luckily, this problem solved itself. Santa disappeared to the Canada woods, and once you go in there… …you never come out.
He is probably still out there somewhere, but he has not been seen since the year 2000, so we made him this! Aren't we nice? It even looks like Canada!
Well? Why do we? It turns out that the Above has us on this one too! Dreams are messages from the Above, coded in visual/aural secret code. We still don’t know exactly what they’re trying to tell us, but I have decoded one specific dream that is common among most people: FALLING!
Can you see anything?
Let me define this for you:
The basic concept of falling represents one broad message: The Sky Will Fall!!!!!!! The Above, although they hate us, is trying to warn us of things that might happen in the future, the Sky Falling being one of them. They want us to be prepared for when they invade. As you know (if you’ve read Beatledude’s “Above” page), the sky is just an illusion, created by dangling cotton balls. So, the earth will be barraged with cotton balls. The Above, in fact, DO NOT want to kill us with giant cotton balls. They want us to prepare, so that they will make us our slaves.
Now what about other dreams?
As I said before, we have only been able to determine the real meaning of falling dreams, but I myself have been working on more, such as embarrasing situations – (pants falling down in public, etc…) Like I said, most dreams are interpretations of the future. But I’ve gotten a little farther on this embarrasing situations topic: These messages are coded from Chunpholuffaghans in particular to say what will happen JUST BEFORE the sky falls. However, embarrasing situations will not necessarily happen. In fact, we know that they WILL NOT. We cannot pinpoint exactly what will happen, but we know that this type of dream represents what will happen just before the sky falls. Seems the Above wants us to be really prepared.
Aural?
We have failed to decode any type of conversation, sounds, or talk in dreams, but I think that they are re-formatted recordings of songs (R&B in particular) that the Above plays to fool us.
If you think you can define any sort of dream, let me know via comment, and I’ll say if I think your definition is realistic.
Goodbye,
xAn
(I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS LAST PART IS IN BOLD. ITS A GLITCH. SORRY!!! )
With all the horrible pilings of homework to be done, guess what?
My posts will be less awesome! So my two meh posts would be pretty bad (unless one is submitted by Xan so I can put my full effort in to the other), but an awesome post every week would rock the house. Which one should I do?
If you have a friend that is still vegan/vegetarian people are not warned about this….
…1-800-WARNTHEMNOW, for it is getting worse. Just look:
They have grown mouths and lazer eyes!
OMG!
Before you continue… ask yourself why that picture above that reminds me of a movie I cannot put my finger on was not in the news. It is because the above does not want us to know, the have kept it secret.
Why? We are supposed to think that we are doing fine, but we are NOT IN ANY WAY. LOOK AT WHAT IS HAPPENING! We will soon be fully raided by the trees.
Really? That's a bit creepy. No more sunflower seeds for Bobby!
)
